is still at large. this blog is directed mostly at you, Ian. i know, for the past few years, you’ve come to believe he doesn’t exist. but he does, just like i warned you all those years ago. in fact, the more you don’t believe in him, the meaner he gets. i’m just sayin’….
i know you want to be “a big boy” now, but seriously, is it worth your life?
think about it okay? i’m your big sis, i’m just lookin’ out for you.
some of you may remember me as a Hanson fan. I admit, i was once. When I was still a girl and didn’t know the TRUE meaning of obsessive band love. Now, as a MATURE (pronounce that as would Bill and Claire Huxtable) woman, I know what REAL obsession is….
Conor, I vow you this: I solemnly promise to love, treasure, and stalk you - to the extent that, if i ever actually met you, I’d really annoy and creep you out - until the day I die.
Sigh.
I really, truly live a rich and fulfilling fantasy life.
And for this I am grateful.
No, wait, bitter. Ahh yes, that’s it…
okay, it took nine seasons, but i’m done with your crap fest Tyra! the girl i like never wins! i’m convinced it’s totally fixed (reality tv? WHAT???). the girl who went to tyra’s camp when she was a kid won? come on! plus, let me just say, I HATE YOU TYRA. you are an idiot! it really pisses me off that each year they have this “sarcastic” girl that they have to belittle until she’s just a little nub of a person because she doesn’t giggle and act like an asshole all the time. it’s like they equate brain with “bad attitude.” I hate you tyra for convincing little girls there’s onlly one “right” kind of girl which means you have TO DUMB DOWN and HAVE NO PERSONALITY. FUCKKKKKKK YOU!!!!!!!
ok, maybe i really do have a bad attitude. whatevs.
Do you suppose he was known as “the crazy one” by all the founding fathers after that little “so he can see it without his glasses!” remark? I bet the guys were talking about that one for months. years.
“I’ll never forget the time when Johnny boy said…”
“Yeah, dad, we’ve heard that story a hundred times.”
“That’s just Johnny for you. Always the life of the party. A real stitch.”
“Yeah Dad. We know.”
“Did I ever tell you about the first meeting of the Continental Congress when Johnny boy took his musket and….”
The kids roll their eyes. They know it’s going to be another long night in the cabin, especially since there’s only the one room and all.
That’s the end of this blog.
