I Don’t Want a Stupid Title

at my work they have been sending inter-office emails for weeks about “soup day.”  i hear people talking about it on their smoke breaks, it’s all very strange for a newcomer.  anyway, here’s the scoop:  apparently it’s some sort of fundraiser they do where people bring in homemade soup, and you buy it, the money going to a local toy drive for homeless kids.  pshhh.  i didn’t buy any of the soup because i don’t trust my coworkers enough to eat their food.  honestly, i’m a little paranoid like that.  but i did give a rather good suggestion concerning what i usually do to make needy kids feel special around the holidays:  i buy myself a bunch of toys, and then go down to the shelter and let them watch me play with them.  here’s to another rousing soup day! 

until I’m old enough to wear orthopedic shoes. 

two buck chuck is actually three buck chuck out here.  that’s $36 a case!  a 33% mark up!  oh the humanity!

if you go into a store and buy a soda they 1) put it in a little brown bag for you as if it were Colt 45, and 2) include a free straw with purchase.  who sips a can of soda out of a straw?  who?

on my commuter train you have the option of flipping your seat so that it faces either way.  i don’t know why people have preferences, but they do.  i like that it gives you the option of totally making someone else needlessly uncomfortable.  like, they’re already sitting down, and you come along, flip your seat so you can sit right across from them, all “Hi, I’m going to stare at you for the rest of your commute” like.  i dunno…

snack cars on trains are always disappointing.

I don’t get that phrase, “a washed pot never boils.”  why would the cleanliness of my pot alter the boiling point of water?  Are they trying to say that the cleanliness of something might so decrease the pressure of the air around it, the water would never get hot enough to boil?  Seems like a stretch to me…

Further, I think that line in my favorite Patrick Swayze song, “She’s Like the Wind” is kind of crass: “I feel her breast in my face, her body close to me, can’t look in her eyes, she’s outta my league…” That’s Baby you’re talking about Patrick!

And speaking of songs, what about the Nine Inch Nails song “Closer?”  “My whole existence is flan, you bring me closer to God…”  What is he trying to say???  I mean, flan and God don’t even rhyme.  It’s good I guess, but his whole existence?  I don’t know…

People are weird, man.

i have a yellow shirt i love.  i bought it for four dollars.  it is an awesome shirt.  it is really comfortable and you can wear it with anything.  i am wearing it now.  i am wearing it in about three pictures on this myspace page.  i wear it all the time.  when i first bought it, me and yellow shirt faced some hard times.  some people thought it wouldn’t work out for the two of us.  but we stuck it out, and here it is, almost four months later.  i remember how i wanted to wear it out one night in may.  my roommate said, “no, don’t wear the yellow one.”  and i didn’t.  i’m sorry yellow shirt, i should have been there for you like you’ve been there for me.  you’ll never know hom much you mean to me.  i want to shout if from the rooftops!  I love you, yellow shirt!  I love you!  so let’s all toast, “this one’s for you yellow shirt!” and I’ll spill a little down my front like I always do, but this time on purpose.  here’s to you, yellow shirt!

p.s.  floor towel says “hi.”

if i were in prison i would want to be the guy you have to befriend who gives you protection so that you don’t get raped, because i bet that’s a really good way to meet people and make some lifelong friends.

i am reminded by maureen of this horrible news story out of vegas i saw about a year ago.  this teenager shot to death his best friend, and then burned his remains in the las vegas desert.  when they interviewed the killer’s aunt, she used the phrase “boys will be boys” to describe the situation.  i don’t know if that one applies there though.  i hope not.

have i blogged about this before?  maybe it just reminds me of my “very bad things blog” of three weeks ago. 

not that it matters.  not that anything matters.